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I never thought I'd do it, but I got into grad school.
November 13th, 2009
nervousNovember 8th, 2009
Well...the Health Care Reform Bill has passed the House, and it's a bit of a sad day in this country.
Government-run health care doesn't work in Canada, it doesn't work in England, it's too new in China, but I'll guarantee that it won't work well there either. It doesn't work in Italy, and in fact, they're reverting back to their old health care programs with a few tweaks. What makes anybody think that it will work here. This plan will increase taxes, and the big businesses and the insurance companies aren't the only ones who will pay, so will the smaller companies and tax payers in general.
Obama is the biggest asshole I've ever seen in office. I know it might be wrong of me to say, but I hope he gets caught in a major scam and they impeach him, REAL SOON!
He knows that we can't afford it, but he doesn't care. It's all an act. He's not listening. He goes on stage and smiles, waves his hand to his supporters whom act as if he's God, and he lies to us all, while his supporters shine his shoes and wipe his ass for him.
If you disagree with Obama, his administration and staff will INSTANTLY pull the race card. Apparently you're a racist because you exercise your First Amendment to disagree. And now there's this internet tranquility, which is most undoubtedly going to be used to shut us up on the internet.
Why not? They're already pulling wars with Fox News. Why? Because they're willing to tell it like it is rather than sit back and support the fuhrer, er, I mean president like every other news outlet has decided to do.
To add insult to injury, they use "Sesame Street," a children show for God's sake, in a parody that trashes Fox News. If you don't understand what this program has to do with the government, then all you have to do is look at who puts out the show. Tada! It's PBS, a federally produced and funded television show.
First it was school teachers, not the government, that starts brainwashing children with their songs. That's why we really couldn't put the blame on Obama and his men. But now it's different. Now the government is reaching out to children. And it MUST STOP!
The government pretty much has the banks under their control, the majority of car companies are close to being completely under government control, they're trying to abolish the Second Amendment, they're trying to shut up journalist and those who use the internet and now they're trying to take over our health care.
There are some who seem to think that the government's doing all this with our best interests in mind. I wish that they would open up their eyes. Even with the extra supposed security we're getting, they're taking away our freedoms for it.
Benjamin Franklin once said "Those that are willing to sacrifice their freedom for security deserve none, and shall lose both." A strong statement indeed, which should not be taken lightly. America needs to wake up!
But, fortunately, I think Americans are starting to get it. They voted non-democrat in the two biggest independent states that Obama relentlessly campaigned for (with our tax money, of course), almost as if to say "Fuck you, Obama!" And the best part? These were all initially Obama supporters! The American people are speaking up finally, and they're saying they've had enough.
It's because of these recent elections that Obama is pressed to get this bill passed as soon as possible. He knows that with the senate and the house gaining Republican seats that he won't even have a hell of a chance getting his bill passed if he waits until next year.
But, wait! There's one more problem, MR. Obama. You need to get this through the Senate first, and that will not be an easy task. If there is still a sense of righteousness in this country, this bill will not pass. And if he can't get it to pass this year, there's a good chance he won't get it passed at all.
Government-run health care doesn't work in Canada, it doesn't work in England, it's too new in China, but I'll guarantee that it won't work well there either. It doesn't work in Italy, and in fact, they're reverting back to their old health care programs with a few tweaks. What makes anybody think that it will work here. This plan will increase taxes, and the big businesses and the insurance companies aren't the only ones who will pay, so will the smaller companies and tax payers in general.
Obama is the biggest asshole I've ever seen in office. I know it might be wrong of me to say, but I hope he gets caught in a major scam and they impeach him, REAL SOON!
He knows that we can't afford it, but he doesn't care. It's all an act. He's not listening. He goes on stage and smiles, waves his hand to his supporters whom act as if he's God, and he lies to us all, while his supporters shine his shoes and wipe his ass for him.
If you disagree with Obama, his administration and staff will INSTANTLY pull the race card. Apparently you're a racist because you exercise your First Amendment to disagree. And now there's this internet tranquility, which is most undoubtedly going to be used to shut us up on the internet.
Why not? They're already pulling wars with Fox News. Why? Because they're willing to tell it like it is rather than sit back and support the fuhrer, er, I mean president like every other news outlet has decided to do.
To add insult to injury, they use "Sesame Street," a children show for God's sake, in a parody that trashes Fox News. If you don't understand what this program has to do with the government, then all you have to do is look at who puts out the show. Tada! It's PBS, a federally produced and funded television show.
First it was school teachers, not the government, that starts brainwashing children with their songs. That's why we really couldn't put the blame on Obama and his men. But now it's different. Now the government is reaching out to children. And it MUST STOP!
The government pretty much has the banks under their control, the majority of car companies are close to being completely under government control, they're trying to abolish the Second Amendment, they're trying to shut up journalist and those who use the internet and now they're trying to take over our health care.
There are some who seem to think that the government's doing all this with our best interests in mind. I wish that they would open up their eyes. Even with the extra supposed security we're getting, they're taking away our freedoms for it.
Benjamin Franklin once said "Those that are willing to sacrifice their freedom for security deserve none, and shall lose both." A strong statement indeed, which should not be taken lightly. America needs to wake up!
But, fortunately, I think Americans are starting to get it. They voted non-democrat in the two biggest independent states that Obama relentlessly campaigned for (with our tax money, of course), almost as if to say "Fuck you, Obama!" And the best part? These were all initially Obama supporters! The American people are speaking up finally, and they're saying they've had enough.
It's because of these recent elections that Obama is pressed to get this bill passed as soon as possible. He knows that with the senate and the house gaining Republican seats that he won't even have a hell of a chance getting his bill passed if he waits until next year.
But, wait! There's one more problem, MR. Obama. You need to get this through the Senate first, and that will not be an easy task. If there is still a sense of righteousness in this country, this bill will not pass. And if he can't get it to pass this year, there's a good chance he won't get it passed at all.
determinedOctober 19th, 2009
9-5ERS ANTHEM
Shit... Vanessa, what time is it? aw, fuck ... Labor.
Zoom in to the fuming of an aggravated breed
Via the study of post-adolescent agitated seeds.
Half the patients wasted self prior to commencement,
So I focus on the urban Oxygen samples, the half that made it breathe.
This old Pompeii impression sways infection in 12 steps or less
And cretins swiftly tippy-toe on hard to swallow barter concepts.
The give-it/get-it never let itself past wrought iron stubbornness.
Martyrs talk funny causes into a harvesting Spartacus and so on...
I throw long Hail Mary bombs
Toward cookie-cutter Mother Nature's bedazzled synthetic fabrics.
Life treats the peasants like
They tried to fuck his woman while he slept inside,
While they're merely chasing perfectionist emblems.
When the clock strikes Nine
I'll be waking with the best of the routine caffeine team players
For the cycle of it.
Under a dusted angel harp-string, Big Brother is watching
My odometer like buzzard to fallen elk, hawkin' stealth.
We got babies, rubber stamps, and briefcase parts.
We on some door-to-door now,
Order ten dollars or more we'll shove it down your throat for free.
I sacrifice my inborn tendencies for copper pennies
From one commander 'gimme that' so he can retain baby fat.
Mega biter snake bedlam,
Holocaust freak heckle shiesty brain headroom shake planet.
Make a move, pause, make a move, break cannon.
Bend barrel 180 u-turn, squeeze, end it.
It's on like it's never been,
It's bleeding well,
It's bigger than a breadbox,
It corrodes my leaky finance.
I take my seat atop the Brooklyn Bridge
With a Coke and a bag of chips
To watch a thousand lemmings plummet
Just because the first one slipped.
Sometimes I laugh at victory, kissing these little question marks.
I tend to underestimate my average.
Just another bastard savage.
Someday you'll all eat out of my cold hand
Cuz every dog has its day
At which point, I'll pull it away.
We the American working population
Hate the fact that eight hours a day
Is wasted on chasing the dream of someone that isn't us
And we may not hate our jobs,
But we hate jobs in general
That don't have to do with fighting our own causes.
We the American working population
Hate the nine-to-five day-in/day-out
When we'd rather be supporting ourselves
By being paid to perfect the pasttimes
That we have harbored based solely on the fact
That it makes us smile if it sounds dope...
It's the Year of the Silkworm.
Everything I built burned yesterday.
Let's display the purpose that these stilts serve.
Elevate the spreading of the silk germ.
Trying to weave a web but all I believe in is dead.
Nah brother, it's the Year of the Jackal.
Saddle up on high horse.
My torch forced Polaris embarrassed.
Shackle up the hassle by the doom and legend marriage.
I bought some new sneakers,
I just hope my legacy matches.
It's the Year of the Landshark.
Dry as sand--parched--damn, get these men some water.
They're out there being slaughtered
In meaningless wars so you don't have to bother
And can sit and soak the idiot box, trying to fuck their daughters.
Man, it's the Year of the Orphan.
Seated adjacent to the fireflies circling the torches on your porches.
Trying to guard the fortress of a king they've never seen or met
But all are trained to murder at the first sign of a threat.
Maybe it's the Year of the Water Bug.
Cockroach. Utter thug specimen.
Fury spawned from dreaming of your next of kin.
I'm still dealing with this mess I'm in.
I've been the object of your ridicule.
You've been a bitch lieutenant.
God, it's the Year of the Underpaid Employee
Spitting forty plus a week
And trying to rape earth in my off time.
You bored dizzy, I can't keep myself busy enough
So you can run, run, run,
And I'ma let you think you won.
EVERYBODY!
We the American working population
Hate the fact that eight hours a day
Is wasted on chasing the dream of someone that isn't us
And we may not hate our jobs,
But we hate jobs in general
That don't have to do with fighting our own causes.
We the American working population
Hate the nine to five day-in/day-out
But we'd rather be supporting ourselves
By being paid to perfect the pasttimes
That we have harbored based solely on the fact
That it makes us smile if it sounds dope.
OUTRO
Fumble outta bed and stumble to the kitchen.
Pour myself a cup of ambition.
And yawn and stretch, my life is a mess,
And if I never make it home today, God bless.
Fumble outta bed and stumble to the kitchen.
Pour myself a cup of ambition.
And yawn and stretch, my life is a mess,
And if I never make it home today, God bless
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTGDn111
Shit... Vanessa, what time is it? aw, fuck ... Labor.
Zoom in to the fuming of an aggravated breed
Via the study of post-adolescent agitated seeds.
Half the patients wasted self prior to commencement,
So I focus on the urban Oxygen samples, the half that made it breathe.
This old Pompeii impression sways infection in 12 steps or less
And cretins swiftly tippy-toe on hard to swallow barter concepts.
The give-it/get-it never let itself past wrought iron stubbornness.
Martyrs talk funny causes into a harvesting Spartacus and so on...
I throw long Hail Mary bombs
Toward cookie-cutter Mother Nature's bedazzled synthetic fabrics.
Life treats the peasants like
They tried to fuck his woman while he slept inside,
While they're merely chasing perfectionist emblems.
When the clock strikes Nine
I'll be waking with the best of the routine caffeine team players
For the cycle of it.
Under a dusted angel harp-string, Big Brother is watching
My odometer like buzzard to fallen elk, hawkin' stealth.
We got babies, rubber stamps, and briefcase parts.
We on some door-to-door now,
Order ten dollars or more we'll shove it down your throat for free.
I sacrifice my inborn tendencies for copper pennies
From one commander 'gimme that' so he can retain baby fat.
Mega biter snake bedlam,
Holocaust freak heckle shiesty brain headroom shake planet.
Make a move, pause, make a move, break cannon.
Bend barrel 180 u-turn, squeeze, end it.
It's on like it's never been,
It's bleeding well,
It's bigger than a breadbox,
It corrodes my leaky finance.
I take my seat atop the Brooklyn Bridge
With a Coke and a bag of chips
To watch a thousand lemmings plummet
Just because the first one slipped.
Sometimes I laugh at victory, kissing these little question marks.
I tend to underestimate my average.
Just another bastard savage.
Someday you'll all eat out of my cold hand
Cuz every dog has its day
At which point, I'll pull it away.
We the American working population
Hate the fact that eight hours a day
Is wasted on chasing the dream of someone that isn't us
And we may not hate our jobs,
But we hate jobs in general
That don't have to do with fighting our own causes.
We the American working population
Hate the nine-to-five day-in/day-out
When we'd rather be supporting ourselves
By being paid to perfect the pasttimes
That we have harbored based solely on the fact
That it makes us smile if it sounds dope...
It's the Year of the Silkworm.
Everything I built burned yesterday.
Let's display the purpose that these stilts serve.
Elevate the spreading of the silk germ.
Trying to weave a web but all I believe in is dead.
Nah brother, it's the Year of the Jackal.
Saddle up on high horse.
My torch forced Polaris embarrassed.
Shackle up the hassle by the doom and legend marriage.
I bought some new sneakers,
I just hope my legacy matches.
It's the Year of the Landshark.
Dry as sand--parched--damn, get these men some water.
They're out there being slaughtered
In meaningless wars so you don't have to bother
And can sit and soak the idiot box, trying to fuck their daughters.
Man, it's the Year of the Orphan.
Seated adjacent to the fireflies circling the torches on your porches.
Trying to guard the fortress of a king they've never seen or met
But all are trained to murder at the first sign of a threat.
Maybe it's the Year of the Water Bug.
Cockroach. Utter thug specimen.
Fury spawned from dreaming of your next of kin.
I'm still dealing with this mess I'm in.
I've been the object of your ridicule.
You've been a bitch lieutenant.
God, it's the Year of the Underpaid Employee
Spitting forty plus a week
And trying to rape earth in my off time.
You bored dizzy, I can't keep myself busy enough
So you can run, run, run,
And I'ma let you think you won.
EVERYBODY!
We the American working population
Hate the fact that eight hours a day
Is wasted on chasing the dream of someone that isn't us
And we may not hate our jobs,
But we hate jobs in general
That don't have to do with fighting our own causes.
We the American working population
Hate the nine to five day-in/day-out
But we'd rather be supporting ourselves
By being paid to perfect the pasttimes
That we have harbored based solely on the fact
That it makes us smile if it sounds dope.
OUTRO
Fumble outta bed and stumble to the kitchen.
Pour myself a cup of ambition.
And yawn and stretch, my life is a mess,
And if I never make it home today, God bless.
Fumble outta bed and stumble to the kitchen.
Pour myself a cup of ambition.
And yawn and stretch, my life is a mess,
And if I never make it home today, God bless
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTGDn111
calmOctober 16th, 2009
Here's a link for a video I saw that's so accurate, it's scary.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTTwrQZl
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTTwrQZl
accomplishedOctober 13th, 2009
I usually do not care for politicians and nor do I generally care for politics, and I almost always try to avoid these subjects. But Obama has been out of control, and people continue to follow him simply because he speaks well and promises us change. But so far he has been doing nothing but lying to us from day one. In fact, for some reason Obama won't even let anybody see his birth certificate. What exactly is he hiding?
There are so many problems with Obama that I don't even know where to begin. But let's start with his popularity. Obama's popularity is insane. I've never seen a president that has as much as he does. When school teachers get their kindergarten students to sing the praises of Obama and when news stations get behind the president as if he's God, there's something wrong, especially when news stations such as CNN gets young high school students to sing praises of his glory. Here, see for yourself. There's several of them. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75NxCTl
Second of all, he promised change. Where is this change? I haven't seen any. In 2008 in the month of June, Obama had speaking engagements set for the Midwest in Chicago, Illinois. The Obama campaign had told the press corp to get on Obama's campaign plane and that Obama would join them on the flight to Chicago. Moments later the plane set off for Chicago, without Obama. The press was told that Obama had been called to a last-minute private meeting, which technically is illegal. In April of 2009, Obama won a case in court regarding illegal wiretapping stating that congress was immune to the laws (http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/04/o
Secretary of Treasury: Timoth Geithner - Wall Street; Bilderberg Group; Trilateral Commission member
Secretary of State: Hillary Clinton - Wall Street; Bilderberg Group; Married to Trilateral Commission member, William Jefferson Clinton
Ambassador to the United Nations: Susan Rice - Wall Street; Trilateral Commision
National Security Advisor: Gen. James L. Jones - Wall Street; Bilderberg Group; Council on Foreign Relations; Trilateral Commission member
Deputy National Security Advisor: Thomas Donilon - Wall Street; Council on Foreign Relations
State Department Special Envoy: Henry Kissinger - Wall Street; Bilderberg Group; Council on Foreign Relations; Trilateral Commission member
Chairman, Economic Recovery Committee: Paul Volcker - Wall Street; Bilderberg Group; Council on Foreign Relations; Trilateral Commission member
Director of National Security: Admiral Dennis C. Blair - Wall Street; Bilderberg Group; Council on Foreign Relations; Trilateral Commission member
Secretary of Defense: Robert Gates - Wall Street; Bilderberg Group; Council on Foreign Relations; Trilateral Commission member
Deputy Secretary of State: James Steinberg - Wall Street, Bilderberg Group; Council on Foreign Relations; Trilateral Commission member
State Department Special Envoy: Richard M. Haas - Wall Street; Bilderberg Group; President, Council on Foreign Relations; Trilateral Commission member
Presidential Advisor: Alan Greenspan - Wall Street, Bilderberg Group; Council on Foreign Relations; Trilateral Commission member
State Department Special Envoy: Richard C. Holbrooke - Wall Street; Bilderberg Group; Council on Foreign Relations; Trilateral
Commission member
And the list goes on and on.
Obama promised to get the troops out of Iraq. As soon as he got into office he change his story to getting some of the troops out in a 16-month period (http://articles.latimes.com/2008/jul/0
Obama also swore to vote to repeal the patriot act, but he later voted for its re-authorization. Obama criticized Bush's stance on wiretapping, but then he voted to legalize it (http://blog.washingtonpost.com/44/2
Well, the list goes on and on and on, but don't take my word for it. Check it out for yourselves. Obama's lying to us all, and now he's trying to push a health care plan that nobody wants, and he hasn't even read it all for himself yet, but come later tonight, he'll be pushing it. He's backed ACORN, and now look at them (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSZ6zS_
Oh, there's more, but I'm tired. I did a healthy amount of research here for anyone that cares. Now you do the rest.
Dewa Matta.
There are so many problems with Obama that I don't even know where to begin. But let's start with his popularity. Obama's popularity is insane. I've never seen a president that has as much as he does. When school teachers get their kindergarten students to sing the praises of Obama and when news stations get behind the president as if he's God, there's something wrong, especially when news stations such as CNN gets young high school students to sing praises of his glory. Here, see for yourself. There's several of them. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75NxCTl
Second of all, he promised change. Where is this change? I haven't seen any. In 2008 in the month of June, Obama had speaking engagements set for the Midwest in Chicago, Illinois. The Obama campaign had told the press corp to get on Obama's campaign plane and that Obama would join them on the flight to Chicago. Moments later the plane set off for Chicago, without Obama. The press was told that Obama had been called to a last-minute private meeting, which technically is illegal. In April of 2009, Obama won a case in court regarding illegal wiretapping stating that congress was immune to the laws (http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/04/o
Secretary of Treasury: Timoth Geithner - Wall Street; Bilderberg Group; Trilateral Commission member
Secretary of State: Hillary Clinton - Wall Street; Bilderberg Group; Married to Trilateral Commission member, William Jefferson Clinton
Ambassador to the United Nations: Susan Rice - Wall Street; Trilateral Commision
National Security Advisor: Gen. James L. Jones - Wall Street; Bilderberg Group; Council on Foreign Relations; Trilateral Commission member
Deputy National Security Advisor: Thomas Donilon - Wall Street; Council on Foreign Relations
State Department Special Envoy: Henry Kissinger - Wall Street; Bilderberg Group; Council on Foreign Relations; Trilateral Commission member
Chairman, Economic Recovery Committee: Paul Volcker - Wall Street; Bilderberg Group; Council on Foreign Relations; Trilateral Commission member
Director of National Security: Admiral Dennis C. Blair - Wall Street; Bilderberg Group; Council on Foreign Relations; Trilateral Commission member
Secretary of Defense: Robert Gates - Wall Street; Bilderberg Group; Council on Foreign Relations; Trilateral Commission member
Deputy Secretary of State: James Steinberg - Wall Street, Bilderberg Group; Council on Foreign Relations; Trilateral Commission member
State Department Special Envoy: Richard M. Haas - Wall Street; Bilderberg Group; President, Council on Foreign Relations; Trilateral Commission member
Presidential Advisor: Alan Greenspan - Wall Street, Bilderberg Group; Council on Foreign Relations; Trilateral Commission member
State Department Special Envoy: Richard C. Holbrooke - Wall Street; Bilderberg Group; Council on Foreign Relations; Trilateral
Commission member
And the list goes on and on.
Obama promised to get the troops out of Iraq. As soon as he got into office he change his story to getting some of the troops out in a 16-month period (http://articles.latimes.com/2008/jul/0
Obama also swore to vote to repeal the patriot act, but he later voted for its re-authorization. Obama criticized Bush's stance on wiretapping, but then he voted to legalize it (http://blog.washingtonpost.com/44/2
Well, the list goes on and on and on, but don't take my word for it. Check it out for yourselves. Obama's lying to us all, and now he's trying to push a health care plan that nobody wants, and he hasn't even read it all for himself yet, but come later tonight, he'll be pushing it. He's backed ACORN, and now look at them (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSZ6zS_
Oh, there's more, but I'm tired. I did a healthy amount of research here for anyone that cares. Now you do the rest.
Dewa Matta.
aggravatedAugust 17th, 2009
Damn. Summer was quite busy. Kayaking, miniature golfing, watching movies, riding around in a dune buggy, hitting the beaches, sailing, hitting the arcades, hitting in the batting cages, theme parks, water parks, hiking, fine dining and a little relaxation all while keeping up with my online classes. Now that all of the fun stuff is out of the way, it's back to reality for awhile.
Today I start back up at Burger King. I loathe the place, but this is a temporary, necessary evil. I now have a Bachelors in Journalism, and I am studying for the big Graduate Record Examinations (GRE). I am planning on taking it in November and sending the results to Eastern Illinois University (EIU). I am hoping to be back in school by January. I would be going back for a Masters in English with a teacher's certification. I wouldn't mind teaching in a community college while working my way up to teaching at the university level.
Teaching in high school is also a possibility. I'd rather not, but if it comes down to it, then assuming I do get my Masters and teacher's cert, I should have the upper hand on everybody else who tries for a teaching job at the high school level, especially in the state of Illinois. The reasoning behind this is because most high schools have student publications and classes that teach journalism in this day and age. Because the journalism classes and publication and yearbook sections fall under the English department and because I have a Bachelors in journalism, this would lead me into the top candidates spot for the job. In Illinois, EIU is considered the top school in the state for those who earn degrees in the English and journalism fields. This means that one who graduates from EIU has a greater shot at the position then one who graduated from another school in the state, since the school is known to specialize in teaching. Add to all this that I would have a Masters degree and not just the standard Bachelors degree that is required for one to teach and that I also have more experience for teaching journalism classes and advising a high school publication and or yearbook, which is a form of journalistic publication, because of working in the field of journalism, then that gives me a greater shot at the job than somebody else without the journalistic experience.
I am also currently learning to speak Japanese. My cousin is taking a trip to Japan with his sister in a few years when he gets out of the marines, and he asked me to tag along. He gave me a set of discs a few weeks ago, and I've been sticking with them. I should be able to speak the language fluently by then. It should be fun.
On a side note, I have finally moved out of my apartment in Charleston, and Comic Book Guy has finally paid back everything that he owed to Andrew. He told him that I was next, although I'm not holding my breath. In some good news, I found out that I am getting my deposit back. I mean...what are the odds, right? Apparently Andrew is starting back at Eastern in a week from now for his Masters degree. He somehow managed to stay at the apartment for another year. He's at the same place for the fourth consecutive year, and what a deal he got! Not only does he get to stay there, but he gets to pay for a three-room apartment as if it were a one-room apartment. No, you don't need to adjust your eyes. What you read is right.
Well, I've got to get ready for work now. There's really not much more to report.
Today I start back up at Burger King. I loathe the place, but this is a temporary, necessary evil. I now have a Bachelors in Journalism, and I am studying for the big Graduate Record Examinations (GRE). I am planning on taking it in November and sending the results to Eastern Illinois University (EIU). I am hoping to be back in school by January. I would be going back for a Masters in English with a teacher's certification. I wouldn't mind teaching in a community college while working my way up to teaching at the university level.
Teaching in high school is also a possibility. I'd rather not, but if it comes down to it, then assuming I do get my Masters and teacher's cert, I should have the upper hand on everybody else who tries for a teaching job at the high school level, especially in the state of Illinois. The reasoning behind this is because most high schools have student publications and classes that teach journalism in this day and age. Because the journalism classes and publication and yearbook sections fall under the English department and because I have a Bachelors in journalism, this would lead me into the top candidates spot for the job. In Illinois, EIU is considered the top school in the state for those who earn degrees in the English and journalism fields. This means that one who graduates from EIU has a greater shot at the position then one who graduated from another school in the state, since the school is known to specialize in teaching. Add to all this that I would have a Masters degree and not just the standard Bachelors degree that is required for one to teach and that I also have more experience for teaching journalism classes and advising a high school publication and or yearbook, which is a form of journalistic publication, because of working in the field of journalism, then that gives me a greater shot at the job than somebody else without the journalistic experience.
I am also currently learning to speak Japanese. My cousin is taking a trip to Japan with his sister in a few years when he gets out of the marines, and he asked me to tag along. He gave me a set of discs a few weeks ago, and I've been sticking with them. I should be able to speak the language fluently by then. It should be fun.
On a side note, I have finally moved out of my apartment in Charleston, and Comic Book Guy has finally paid back everything that he owed to Andrew. He told him that I was next, although I'm not holding my breath. In some good news, I found out that I am getting my deposit back. I mean...what are the odds, right? Apparently Andrew is starting back at Eastern in a week from now for his Masters degree. He somehow managed to stay at the apartment for another year. He's at the same place for the fourth consecutive year, and what a deal he got! Not only does he get to stay there, but he gets to pay for a three-room apartment as if it were a one-room apartment. No, you don't need to adjust your eyes. What you read is right.
Well, I've got to get ready for work now. There's really not much more to report.
August 12th, 2008
Something that I have been doing for years is masking my intelligence. I would act oblivious to things around me, I would say random things just to say them, and I would make up arguments just for the fun of it. But the truth is that my IQ is actually 129, which means I'm above 95-98% of the population in the IQ range. The IQ test ranks from 50-150. Bill Gates is at 140.
One might ask why I would do that. Well, there are several reasons for this. For one, the more you show your intelligence, the more people expect out of you. I don't like adding extra pressure to my life that isn't needed. Everybody seems to be breathing down your back, watching your every move, expecting you not to make any mistakes, and they always expect you to be serious about everything. I want to live a life of fun, and if I want to build a snowman, then that's what I'm going to do. Secondly, I like to watch people. Because I act the way I do, I'm able to blend into the background. By doing this I'm able to learn how to read a person, and I also learn a lot about them by listening to what they're saying and by watching their body language. I'm able to do this, because at times, nobody notices me, because they're not paying attention to me. I'm easily able to tell who is putting on an act and who is not, and believe me, there are several people who do -- even those that are extremely hard to gage. I could get into other reasons, but these are basically the two big ones.
I also like danger. It excites me. My friends and I were talking about this a few days ago. One of them wants to rent an RV and drive around the U.S. with all of us next summer. Another one wants to join us and go on adventures with me along the way.
We were talking about the following:
skydiving
hang gliding
shark diving
cliff diving
bungee jumping
cross-country skiing
white water river rafting
If anyone can think of anything else that sounds exciting let me know.
Next week, I'm going back to Charleston for my final year of school. A bunch of my friends are going down to party with my roommates and I the week before I go back. We'll be leaving late Wednesday at around 6, and then they'll be leaving around noon on Sunday. We'll be celebrating two of my friends' birthdays. One of them being a belated birthday from Aug. 7 and the other being an early one for one of my roommates, which lands on Aug. 27. It should be lots of fun, assuming my other roommate doesn't act inappropriately.
Finally, I'll be going to Six Flags sometime this week with some friends. It should be lots of fun. Well that's all I have for now.
Dewa mata.
tiredJuly 3rd, 2008
I am an anime junkie.
Anime Series I have watched (Movies not included)...
1.) Naruto (Finished)
2.) Naruto Shippuuden (Still running)
3.) Bleach (Still running)
4.) Kiba (Finished)
5.) Berserk (Finished)
6.) Green Green (Finished)
7.) Green Green OVAs (Finished)
8.) Shuffle (Finished)
9.) Shuffle Memmories (Finished)
10.) Love Hina (Finished)
11.) Love Hina Again (Finished)
12.) Azumanga Daioh (Finished)
13.) Genshiken (Finished)
14.) Genshiken 2 (Finished)
15.) Ruroni Kenshin (Finished)
16.) Ruroni Kenshin OVAs (Finished)
17.) Lupin the 3rd
18.) Dragon Ball (Finished)
19.) Dragon Ball Z (Finished)
20.) Dragon Ball GT (Finished)
21.) One Piece (Still Running)
22.) Inuyasha (Finished)
23.) Nerima Daikon Brothers (Finished)
24.) Final Approach (Finished)
25.) The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (Finished)
26.) He is my Master (Finished)
27.) Kenkō Zenrakei Suieibu Umishō (Finished)
28.) Yu Yu Hakusho (Finished)
29.) Kekkaishi (Still running)
30.) Furi Curi (Finished)
31.) Cowboy Bebop (Finished)
32.) Fullmetal Alchemist (Finished)
33.) Tsubasa Chronicle (Finished)
34.) To Love Ru (Still running)
35.) Trigun (Finished)
36.) Outlaw Star (Finished)
37.) Disgaea (Finished)
38.) s-CRY-ed (Finished)
39.) Death Note (In process of finishing)
40.) Happy Lesson OVAs (Finished)
41.) Happy Lesson (Finished)
42.) Happy Lesson Advance (Finished)
43.) Happy Lesson: The Final (Finished)
44.) Top wo Nerae Gunbuster (Finished)
45.) Gundam Wing (Finished)
46.) I My Me! Strawberry Eggs (Finished)
47.) Samurai Champloo (Finished)
48.) Midori no Hibi (Finished)
49.) Ichigo 100% (Finished)
50.) Ichigo 100% OVAs (Starting)
51.) Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge (In process of finishing)
Somehow, I don't think these will be the last.
June 18th, 2008
Somebody please tell me why?
http://gear.ign.com/articles/881/881336p
http://gear.ign.com/articles/881/881336p
confusedMay 18th, 2008
I've been looking back at my life a lot lately. I keep hearing younger people talking about how they want to grow up faster so that they can do this and that, even from my own cousins. I have to wonder why, because even when I was younger, I never did. I never understood it, but it's always been like that. My friends were the same way. I'm 24 years old now, and I don't feel any different from when I was 16. I want time to slow down. It seems like things are going by faster as I grow older, and I want it to stop. There are still several things that I haven't done yet. I haven't even had my first date or even my first kiss yet, which is kind of pathetic. I'll be graduating from college this year, a day that I never thought I'd see. I've always hated school. I've been waiting for it to be done and over with it for what seems like forever, but it's also a day that I've always feared as well, and as I near it closer and closer I become more afraid each day. Why am I afraid? I'm afraid, because it means that I'm that much closer to leaving behind the best years of my life that I've never truely lived to the fullest. As much as I hate school, I wish that I could relive the days of my high school and college years. There would be several things I'd do differently. I would have taken more chances and tried different things. The truth is that I'm afraid of change. I don't want to leave the comfort zone that I'm in, but I also realize that I must. I'm afraid of it, but I can at least tolerate it. That doesn't mean that I have to like it though. The only thing that I can really say is that those who wish they were older faster are foolish. They should do what they can and have as much fun as possible, now, while they're still able to. They should slow down a little bit and appreciate what youth they have left and stop trying to grow up so fast. They should try to remain as young as possible for as long as possible. They're going to miss it when it's gone. I know I will.
May 15th, 2008
Wow! Has it really been this long since I've last posted? Anyways, a lot has happened since then. I started writing for the DEN this semester. The job isn't too hard, but it is anoying. I'm finding out very quickly that nobody likes to talk to a reporter. There were several times that I barely even made a deadline, because none of my contacts liked to get back to me very quickly. Sometimes I'd get somebody just two hours before a deadline, making my job that much harder. Oh, it started out easy enough. I nailed the first story they gave me. After that they gave me another one, and I nailed that as well. After those two stories were written, I was approached by the news editor and was asked to move up from Staff Reporter to City Reporter. I told them that I would think about it, because the city beat was not an easy one. I took one more story and then gave them my answer. I became one of three, including the City Editor. The DEN will take anybody. Little skill is required, but the city beat is an entirely different matter. This beat required a great deal of skill. This is also where I quickly learned that people are usually reluctant to talk with reporters. For my first story as a City Reporter I had to write about the republican preliminaries for Coles County State Attorney. Paul Komada was easy to talk to, because he won. His opponent Duane Deters simply sent me a press release to use for my story. I tried contacting him to get some fresh material, but he never replied. At the end of the semester I applied for a paid position, and I nailed the interview. They told me that they definitely wanted me back and like my writing. They also said that I could have any position that I wanted. I'll probably stick with the city beat.
Although I've done well this semester, I'm not too thrilled with going back next year. There will be very few people that I will know, because the majority of my friends have already graduated, and my roommate, who is also a close friend of mine, will be graduating the following semester. I feel like I'm being left behind, and I'll also have to start all over again with meeting new people. I find myself asking if there's even a point, since I'll be graduating as soon as I make new friends anyways. I'm not one who is very good with expressing what I feel, except through my writing. The only real emotions that I know how to express are happiness and, in very rare cases, anger. Even my voice is emotionless, as my friends say it sounds something like a younger Marlin Brando. Because of this, there are things left undone and unsaid to those that I feel I've become close with. I just wish that I could have been more involved with people.
blahDecember 3rd, 2007
It's that time again. It's the time that we must say goodbye to our good friends that we have made here in Charleston. Finals start a week from now at good old Eastern Illinois University, and then winter break begins. We'll say goodbye for a month to many, but unfortunately, some will not be returning. They will be graduating and making their way into the real world.
Oh, some may return and drop by from time to time to say hello, and for some others, we may never see them again. But even for those that we will see again, it's never going to be quite the same. They may drop by once a month or maybe every weekend depending on how things go, but what about the week days? It's basically going from seeing them everyday to seeing them maybe once to eight times a month.
I constantly wonder how many people took the advantage of seeing their friends everyday. Did I even take the advantage of hanging out with others as much as I could? Unfortunately, the answer to this is no. No, I haven't, but I am trying to get myself more involved this semester. I think it's been showing, but have I started to get involved a bit too late? Some would say that it's never too late. These people are called optimists, but I am a realist, and I would say that this scenario is most likely. If only I had the courage to ask somebody something last semester, but the opportunity to at least ask is gone.
At least my best friend Habschmidt is staying up here for a couple of months after graduation. Still, I feel as if I'm being left behind, as there seems to be more pressure on me to graduate now more than ever, and I have to ask myself if I'll ever be able to graduate. True, I did go through some things that couldn't have been avoided costing me extra school time, but I still wish that I came down here earlier.
And then there's next year. It seems as if it will be only Andrew and myself for the fall semester, and then I'll be here on my own for my final semester. I wish that I would've done more with people while I was here this and last semester. It seems as if I came here at the end of all the fun.
If I could do it again, I would make sure that I get myself more involved with people and talk more to others, but what's done is done and can't be undone.
Oh, some may return and drop by from time to time to say hello, and for some others, we may never see them again. But even for those that we will see again, it's never going to be quite the same. They may drop by once a month or maybe every weekend depending on how things go, but what about the week days? It's basically going from seeing them everyday to seeing them maybe once to eight times a month.
I constantly wonder how many people took the advantage of seeing their friends everyday. Did I even take the advantage of hanging out with others as much as I could? Unfortunately, the answer to this is no. No, I haven't, but I am trying to get myself more involved this semester. I think it's been showing, but have I started to get involved a bit too late? Some would say that it's never too late. These people are called optimists, but I am a realist, and I would say that this scenario is most likely. If only I had the courage to ask somebody something last semester, but the opportunity to at least ask is gone.
At least my best friend Habschmidt is staying up here for a couple of months after graduation. Still, I feel as if I'm being left behind, as there seems to be more pressure on me to graduate now more than ever, and I have to ask myself if I'll ever be able to graduate. True, I did go through some things that couldn't have been avoided costing me extra school time, but I still wish that I came down here earlier.
And then there's next year. It seems as if it will be only Andrew and myself for the fall semester, and then I'll be here on my own for my final semester. I wish that I would've done more with people while I was here this and last semester. It seems as if I came here at the end of all the fun.
If I could do it again, I would make sure that I get myself more involved with people and talk more to others, but what's done is done and can't be undone.
November 29th, 2007
Ist'n ti funyn hwo evne thuogh thsee wrods aer mesesed up lkie tihs, yuo cna sitll raed tehm wtihuot mcuh tourlbe? I fnid ti strnage jsut hwo srtong teh hmuan mnid turly is. Jsut teh touhght taht yuo cna raed ayn of tihs is mriacluous. Teh raesno fro tihs is teh fcat taht teh mnid tkaes in teh wolhe wrod rthaer thna ecah of teh wrods eervy lteter.
As hmuna biegns, we olny ues apormitaley tne precten of oru brinas. Jsut iamaigne waht it wuold be lkie if we cuold ues teh flul 100 pecrent. Atcaully, neevr mnid, thta's a rthaer saryc touhgth. Aynwyas, I'ev awlasy fuond thsi knid of sutff to be qiuet itnresetnig. Dno't yuo?
November 28th, 2007
So, around midnight I was getting ready to go to bed, but I was halted by a knock at the door. Seeing as though the door had yet to be locked, I yelled out to them to come on in. As soon as I had just finished yelling it out, they had knocked again but this time louder. I figured that they didn't hear me the first time so I yelled again making sure that they couldn't be able to not hear me. No one entered and there was a third knock.
By now I'm getting agitated since each knock grew louder than the last. I finally answered the door, and there were two girls standing outside the door giggling. They were standing there in nothing but t-shirts and very thin, tight pants. They were also wearing head gear. One had on a santa's cap and the other had on cat ears. They seemed drunk to me. I asked if they were waiting on our neighbors, but they just stood there and giggled. Seeing as it was extremely cold outside, I kindly offered them into the apartment to wait for them. Still, they didn't answer. They just stood there and giggled for a few moments. Okay, by this point I'm at the point where I'm about to slam the door on them. It was their fault for not wearing any clothes anyways. Just before I went to make my move to shut the door, the one in the cat ears finally spoke as she pulled her pants up to her chest. "Do you wanna fuck," she asked.
This baffles me. It's 12 in the morning on a school night, there's two girls on my doorstep doing nothing more than giggling for five minutes and then when one of them decides to speak, it's to ask if I want to fuck. I didn't answer at first. I was shocked and very confused. They stood there giggling some more, and then the other girl does the same with her pants and repeats what the other girl asked. I was pissed off a little bit as they were obviously wasting my time and were quite drunk. Before I could ask them to leave, they both ran off giggling.
There are some people in this world that I'll never figure out. Oh well. What can you do? The world moves on and keeps on turning, stopping for no one.
November 26th, 2007
Last week some buddies and I were sitting around in a circle in a dark room. It was around 2 a.m. in the morning, and there was just enough light to see the faces of those we were talking to. We were passing around a shot glass and taking shots from a very good, expensive bottle of grape vodka. There was a very pleasant taste of grape followed by a decent kickback.
It was one of those very rare and great nights that I've not experienced in such a long time. It was such a long time ago that it almost feels like ages. It was a night where we just sat around talking about anything that came to mind. There were only five of us there that night, and we talked for hours.
Then we started talking about music, and one of my friends said something that I've never heard anyone say before. He said that he didn't like music. He didn't get music, and he thought that it only got in the way of his inner voice. He went on to say that music is just a distraction that gets in his way of his thinking process.
Was I shocked? What do you think? I mean, who wouldn't be? I respect his opinion, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't baffle me. Can you imagine a life without music? Plays and movies would be boring, life would be harder to go through and it would be that much harder for people to express themselves.
For some people, music is life. We all know that one person who does nothing but listen to music at every given time he can get. For others, it's how they express themselves. Some people use music to help them to sleep more soundly at night. It helps certain people get through the day, and some use music to help calm themselves down.
A life without music doesn't sound that great to me. I find it kind of strange that one would rather live without it. Horror movies without music? Could it even work? Somehow, I see people falling asleep through it. Action packed movies wouldn't stand a chance without the right musical touch. Comedies couldn't hold their own either. And musicals? What are those? They don't even exist anymore. And plays? Aren't the majority of all plays half music? How many video games will anybody be willing to play without any music in them? My guess is not many. Do you like to work out? Then you may have noticed that it's easier to work out with heavy metal and rap than it is to work out with no music at all.
True, poems and books can help relieve pain and stress, but they just aren't the same compared to music. Without music, the world might as well be dead.
It was one of those very rare and great nights that I've not experienced in such a long time. It was such a long time ago that it almost feels like ages. It was a night where we just sat around talking about anything that came to mind. There were only five of us there that night, and we talked for hours.
Then we started talking about music, and one of my friends said something that I've never heard anyone say before. He said that he didn't like music. He didn't get music, and he thought that it only got in the way of his inner voice. He went on to say that music is just a distraction that gets in his way of his thinking process.
Was I shocked? What do you think? I mean, who wouldn't be? I respect his opinion, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't baffle me. Can you imagine a life without music? Plays and movies would be boring, life would be harder to go through and it would be that much harder for people to express themselves.
For some people, music is life. We all know that one person who does nothing but listen to music at every given time he can get. For others, it's how they express themselves. Some people use music to help them to sleep more soundly at night. It helps certain people get through the day, and some use music to help calm themselves down.
A life without music doesn't sound that great to me. I find it kind of strange that one would rather live without it. Horror movies without music? Could it even work? Somehow, I see people falling asleep through it. Action packed movies wouldn't stand a chance without the right musical touch. Comedies couldn't hold their own either. And musicals? What are those? They don't even exist anymore. And plays? Aren't the majority of all plays half music? How many video games will anybody be willing to play without any music in them? My guess is not many. Do you like to work out? Then you may have noticed that it's easier to work out with heavy metal and rap than it is to work out with no music at all.
True, poems and books can help relieve pain and stress, but they just aren't the same compared to music. Without music, the world might as well be dead.
November 22nd, 2007
Have you ever wondered why we exist? Is it really because we're part of a god's work? Does god truly exist? Did god create us, or did we create god? Is there any real meaning to life at all?
Perhaps we are a part of god's work, but how do we know if god truly exists? It is true that we cannot disprove his existence. There are too many things in this world that can't be explained. But it is also true that we cannot prove his existence. There are those that believe in intelligent design and those that believe in evolution. There are valid points to each of these sides, but the thing that agitates me is that people will try to tell you that intelligent design is a science. It is not. If you cannot use the scientific method to prove something, then it is not by any means a science.
So did god create us, or did we create god? There is always a chance that we were the ones that created god. Think of it this way. One day we start to question things. We ask where we came from, how we should live our lives and what do our lives actually mean. We ask if there's anything beyond the current lives we're living. These questions then get us to think that our lives are meaningless, that the only thing that is certain is death. So as logical beings what would we have done when we came to this realization?
Odds are we'd come up with something that would make our lives seem more meaningful. No one likes to think of their lives as meaningless. It's rather sad for some one to think that. Thus god comes into the picture. It was he who created us. Religion becomes our guidelines on how to live. Heaven and hell become our afterlife, and our souls enter a new eternal life. Bam. Everything is solved now. We now have more meaning than a life of birth, work, reproduction and death.
Then there's the flip side. God really did create us. After-all, where did we come from? We could say the big bang, but even so, how did that start? Where did the matter come from in the first place? But even when we say it came from god, where did god come from? Well he's always been, right? We just have to have faith, which requires no proof. It's also wicked of us to want proof according to Jesus, if you're Christian that is.
But why can't we question things? What's wrong with wanting some sort of proof? Is it really that bad? It seems as if saying god has always been is nothing more than a cop out to me. We can't answer it, so we'll make something mystical up. There are so many different gods, several variations of the devil, many different speculations on heaven and hell and some religions have no or even multiple gods and devils. Not to mention that the bible and scriptures have been translated several different ways. How can we really know what's right and wrong when everything is so mixed up? Perhaps god likes it when we question theses things. He did give us free will.
My guess is that if we live to the best of our abilities and do what we honestly feel to be good and do what we truly believe to be right, we'll be just fine. So whether you're religious or not, and I'm not all that religious anyways, just do what you believe to be right, but do not force your views on others.
November 18th, 2007
Christmas is here again, is it? No? Well, it might as well be. Christmas used to be a time of fun where we spent more time with family and friends. It still is to a certain degree, but Christmas has somehow lost it's magic touch that I've once felt when I was a child.
It seems as if every year Christmas starts earlier and earlier. I see Halloween and Thanksgiving decorations being replace by Christmas ones in stores as early as a couple of weeks before Halloween. Christmas songs are being played in November, people are putting up their decorations as soon as they tear down their Halloween decoration and people are being asked what they want while getting their own lists together just three weeks before Thanksgiving, including my own mother.
When did Christmas get so out of control is what I'd like to know. How and when did it get so commercialized? The answer is simple. It's always been this way. We were just too young and naive to realize it at the time.
It shouldn't be too surprising if you knew how Christmas became Christmas. It was a pagan holiday at one time. The day we celebrate Jesus's birthday is wrong. December would have been too cold for any shepard to be out in their fields to see any angels or stars and way too cold for anybody to give birth in the place in which Jesus was born. The pagan holiday was a day that pagans would get drunk, have sex with each others and eat. So then we decided to slap Christmas over this holiday so that we'd have a chance to do the same. Don't believe it? Look into it then.
At least for myself, I'm going to continue to have fun with Christmas the same way as I did when I was a kid. I just wish that I didn't know about the way it really started and what it really is. A commercialized holiday where all you ever hear anymore is give me, give me give and what do you want for Christmas?
Ah, what I wouldn't give to be that young, innocent, naive little kid again.
It seems as if every year Christmas starts earlier and earlier. I see Halloween and Thanksgiving decorations being replace by Christmas ones in stores as early as a couple of weeks before Halloween. Christmas songs are being played in November, people are putting up their decorations as soon as they tear down their Halloween decoration and people are being asked what they want while getting their own lists together just three weeks before Thanksgiving, including my own mother.
When did Christmas get so out of control is what I'd like to know. How and when did it get so commercialized? The answer is simple. It's always been this way. We were just too young and naive to realize it at the time.
It shouldn't be too surprising if you knew how Christmas became Christmas. It was a pagan holiday at one time. The day we celebrate Jesus's birthday is wrong. December would have been too cold for any shepard to be out in their fields to see any angels or stars and way too cold for anybody to give birth in the place in which Jesus was born. The pagan holiday was a day that pagans would get drunk, have sex with each others and eat. So then we decided to slap Christmas over this holiday so that we'd have a chance to do the same. Don't believe it? Look into it then.
At least for myself, I'm going to continue to have fun with Christmas the same way as I did when I was a kid. I just wish that I didn't know about the way it really started and what it really is. A commercialized holiday where all you ever hear anymore is give me, give me give and what do you want for Christmas?
Ah, what I wouldn't give to be that young, innocent, naive little kid again.
November 15th, 2007
You know what really drives me crazy? Kids. Honestly, I can't stand them. They run around all the time, which is fine, but they do it in places where running shouldn't be taking place. It's one thing to run around playing sports or just for fun outside, but it shouldn't be done inside of places such as stores and restaurants.
A lot of this is due to the fact that they've replaced corporal punishment (not to be confused with capital punishment, which my friends do from time to time) with a time out, or sometimes they take it as expressing themselves and hand down no punishment at all. These are the same parents that will fight a long, hefty war on the media when there children decide to imitate it.
The problem with this is that parents would much rather take the easy way out and point fingers rather than trying to take care of it on the battle field at home. Parenting isn't easy. I understand this, but parents seem to have this strange perception that their kids are alway innocent. The only thing that will change their minds is if they were to catch their kids in the act of a misdeed, and even then, corporal punishment is not bestowed upon the child.
I'm not saying to beat the child, because that wouldn't be right. I'm saying that if a child misbehaves you should tell them and explain to them why. If they continue their behavior after the warning you've issued, it is then your que to smack them in the head. Not hard, but get your point across. Ask yourself this. Are they going to fear a time out for their actions, or are they going to fear that smack you just gave them?
Children are innocent? No, they're not. In the fourth grade there were kids in my class talking about weed, alcohol and sex that they've had. That's right. It happens more than you think. There have also been reports of homemade sex tapes of children as young as 10. No parents involved with it.
There used to be a time when the neighborhood would watch out for kids of others. Today if you let parent's know about things their kids did they'd most likely have a few glares and nasty words to say to you. In fact, some one I used to work with was in a restaurant, and a kid was running around screaming. The mother was just watching him ''play'' and ''enjoying'' himself. My friend went over to her and kindly said that the behavior was bothering him and then asked if she could kindly get him to settle down. She stared at him and said: "Don't you tell me how to raise my child!" He went back to his seat and sat back down. Moments later, two security guards came to escort him out.
The government isn't helping the situation either. In some states it is illegal to slap your kid on the wrist. Is it me, or does there seem to be something wrong with this? There was a case where a mother slapped her kid on the wrist while riding the bus. On the next stop she was arrested and charged for child abuse. Some one had seen her slap her son and called the police.
All I can really say is that this has got to stop, or the next generation and many after that will no longer have respect for anything!
November 13th, 2007
Everwhere I go I see people who strive for perfection in every little thing that they do, and I must ask myself the question, why? Is there a reason for it? Yes, it's true. There is indeed a reason for all of this. It's because people are too conscious about themselves. They want to be accepted. They'll nervously laugh and hide their true selves from others behind a shell. For the most part, everyone, myself included, does this to a certain degree.
Imagine a perfect world filled with nothing but perfection. Seems pleasant and somewhat glorious, doesn't it? As great as it might seem to most people, it doesn't seem to sond that great to me.
By now you may be thinking that I'm crazy, but let me assure you that I am not. I just seem to think of things differently than most others would, in a different light, if you will. As great as a perfect world may sound to you, it sounds boring to me. In a perfect world everything and everyone would be as perfect as everything and everyone else. There would be no concept of individuality or uniqueness. Are you following me yet?
As human beings, we are all different and possesss different qualities and traits. It is these qualities and traits that give us our character and separates us from the rest of the pack. How could you enjoy a work of art that is flawless when you can do it just the same? If perfection was obtained how can we as human beings build up to be any one?
It is my long belief that failure is necessary. Failure is important, because without failure, there couldn't be any true success. Accomplishments are best obtained through hard work, and failing and learning from that failure is a part of that work. Think back to when you were a kid. Do you remember trying to ride a bike without training wheels? You didn't learn it the exact instant you tried, did you? You became irritated at first, right? But when you finally mastered it, how did you feel then? You most likely felt a world of joy. All that work finally paid off. Would you have really gotten that sensation if you were able to do it right away?
Life is all about trial and error, and in my opinion, the most perfect human being is an imperfect one, because to be human is to be imperfect. What makes people attracted to each other are imperfections that compliment one's other imperfections. We may not be perfect, but if we were, would it truly be worth it? The great thing about being human is that there are no real limits. We can break and set new ones. If we were perfect, there would be a limit. We'd always be at the maximum level, never able to go further and test ourselves. Still want perfection? Then we have no pride, honor, or competitiveness, the very things that make us human in the first place.
Don't mistake where I'm coming from. I hate failing. But who doesn't? It isn't our mistakes and failures that make or break us. It's what we do with them. Do we learn from them, or do we let them control us? It is this that helps to shape and mold us into the human beings we can and may become. That's what's great about being human. We screw up constantly, but we learn from our mistakes and become stronger and better for the experience. We may fail time and time again, but if we keep trying, we may one day succeed! And boy what a feeling that would be.
Perfection? Who needs it, because I don't want it.
November 12th, 2007
Who am I? I've often found myself asking this question. I am Michael Schwader is one answer, but that is only my name. At least it's a small step in the right direction to answering the question.
If you ask those that know me, you may find that they see me as a good, kindhearted person who doesn't mind giving up my comfort for others. They will also tell you that I'm cool and crazy, that I have a strange kind of charisma, that once you get to know me, you can be comfortable to tell me your problems. They'll say that I listen to what you have to say and provide helpful feedback and ideas to help you out.
But they'll also tell you that there has been a lot of things that I've been holding in for years. In fact, when I was in highschool, a girl that I knew told me that she couldn't look me in the eyes, because she saw sadness in them. It shocked me, because most people can't get a read on me, even if they tried. She wasn't far off, for I've seen and been through a lot in my life.
When I was around the age of 4-6, my father had threatened to kill himself every now and again. I remembered being so scared and trying to stop him from putting a knife to his chest. He has always been somewhat of an alcoholic, and I remember him saying that he wasn't good enough for my mom. Lucky for me he hasn't done that since and has gotten a lot better. He gets drunk occassionally, but nowhere near as bad as when I was younger.
At the age of eight my father and my Uncle Rick (my mother's brother and best friend to my father, even after the fight) got into a huge drunken fist fight when we were out camping. I was so scared, because I thought they were gonna kill each other, and I felt helpless, because I couldn't do anything to stop it. My father busted my Uncle's face and sent him to the hospital for stitches. I felt bad for my Uncle and a little ashamed at both of them. Luckily, they rectified their differences and became stronger friend than ever.
When I was in the fourth grade, I transferred to a catholic school, because Chicago's public schools were on strike. I missed nearly a month and a half of school. They had been on strike for nearly a month, and the catholic school I was now attending had started two weeks ahead of my previous school. I was told that I had to be held back because of it. I had a twin, he suffered the same fate as I. Last semester, during spring break, I found out it had been a lie. They were going to send me ahead, and my brother was to move back to third. My mother had struck a deal with the school that had my brother and I stay in fourth, instead, so my brother didn't feel left behind.
When I was 12, my mother called me into the front room, because my friends were on the television. I was excited, until I heard them say that the were burned alive. The family had gone on a camping trip, and a drunk driver in front of them had stolen a commercialized truck. He was driving recklessly and the bumber on the back fell off. My friends's parents couldn't avoid it. They ran over it, and the car shortly burst into flames afterwards. Only the parents survived, with third degree burns. My friends had burned alive.
When I was 16, I found out from my grandmother that my father that I was living with wasn't my real father. My real father ran off when my mother told him I was pregnant. Apparently this happened in California, because that's where he lived at the time and probably still lives. This is most likely what's cause my low self esteem. The feeling of not being wanted sort of set in. I've blocked it out for a long time, but it seems that it is slowly catching up to me. I sort of feel like I'm just a mistake from time to time, and I shouldn't, but it's hard. They were never going to tell me. I went to confront them, but I didn't know how. My father didn't know how to handle it, and he went out and didn't come home until the next day. I felt like I was abonded by my biological father and still do from time to time. My relationship with my stepfather, who I still consider my real father has never been the same.
This had two major effects on me. For one, I felt like I may be missing out on a whole other family. One, I started to see women in a whole different light. I started to question society's view of them, and I realized that they are not just here for sexual purposes. They are our equals and our partners. I started seeing pronography for what it really was. Did I see women as victims? No, because they put themselves into those positions, but I actually noticed that only the men seemed to be having fun. The women's eyes seemed to say hurry up, and get this over with. I couldn't watch it anymore, because what's the point of watching when everyone isn't having fun. Why should only the men? What about the women? The funny thing is, I've never owned any source of pornography.
I also vowed that I wouldn't get involved with women until I was financially set and had a job. I realized that accidents can happen, and that women may want sex just as much as the men. I couldn't get into a relationship if I couldn't give my partner what she wanted. On top of that, I had and still do have the feeling that I couldn't bear it if I couldn't satisfy her with my performance. Why should I be the only one to have the fun?
Lately, though, that barrier I put up has found cracks in them. I'm starting to think that I'm doing nothing more than punishing myself. How did this happen? Last semester, my first one at EIU, I met a girl at one of my friend's parties. At first I just thought woa, she looks good. I figured that I could get her out of my head, and for a while, there was no problem with that. As time went by, I started seeing her more often. I could no longer keep her out of my mind, and to a degree, I still can't. I was very slowly working up the courage to say something to her, but by the time I finally did, I found out from a friend that she had been taken, and it was too late. I can't tell her now, because the one she's dating is also a friend. She was my very first actual crush, and I can't say a word to her about it. I'm probably not good enough for her anyways.
At the age of 17, I noticed my friend experimenting with weed. I've never had a problem with the drug, and I still don't, but what I failed to notice is that he was experimenting with other things as well. He was living with his aunt that lived two houses down from me, while attending highschool. He had come down every summer since I was six, and we hung out ever since. He was originally from Florida, where his parents live. Now his aunt had adopted an African-American child, and while she was two, my friend got so messed up from the drugs he was taking that he actually raped her. He was locked up shortly after, and I never saw him again. I feel that if I had been paying attention to him more, I could've helped him out of it. I know it's not my fault, but I still feel that I could've done at least something.
At the age of 22, I had to drop my best friend and long time neighbor. We had met at the age of four when my family moved in next door to them. I still remember the day we met. We had fun with bubbles and one of them bubble mowers. We had a lot of fun throughout the years. He moved in with his mother in Arizona, where he attended ASU. It worried me, because his mother someone who had problems with drug addictions. My friend was a literal crack baby, no joke. I warned him not to get too involved with his mother, and he said he wouldn't. Unfortunately for the both of us, he was wrong.
He came back smoking weed. Remembering what happened to my last friend, I kept an eye on him while he was in. Nothing out of the ordinary. He wasn't a pothead, he just used it occassionally. But when he came back the next year, he had changed. He wasn't the friend I had known and loved for the past 18 years of my life. He was different. He stole from me, and stole two of my brother's car radios from him. He swore at his grandparents, people I've known for a good long time. He tested positive for meth and a few other heavy drugs. He had become thinner and he shook. I confronted him, but he denied it all. He said the shaking was from parkasin's disease. I didn't buy it. I tried to help him, as did his father, stepmother and grandparents, but nothing worked. I had to say goodbye to my lifelong best friend. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and it still hurts.
As you can see, I've seen, learned and went through a lot in my, and the truth is I still don't know who I am. I may never really know, and neither will many others. I'm still young, and I'm still piecing it all together, and hopefully, I will one day figure out who I really am.
For now, I'll continue to try to learn from my experiences and become a stronger person. It will be hard, and I may want to give it all up at times, but as long as I try and don't give up, I may come through out on top.